Please Leave us Alone

My neighborhood is flooded with solicitors. At least three days a week someone would knock on our door to ask us about Jesus or talk about lawn-mowing, fence-mending, pest control or selling *whatever* out of the back of a pick-up truck (literally).

Also, my landlord would always send workmen over for various repairs WITHOUT BOTHERING TO NOTIFY ME that an appointment had been made to do so. So I get big dudes on my porch, unannounced, claiming that they need to come in to fix this-or-that. I don't think so.

ALSO, this house is designed very poorly and my front door is not visible from the street, it's tucked away in a corner of my porch.

And, finally, my husband works nights and I'm often alone with my two little girls.

So I don't open the door when people knock. Period.

But my kids are loud and sometimes (although I tell 'em not too) they peek out the windows at the strangers on our porch, which makes it hard to pretend no one's home.

So I put up a sign, even though I was doubtful that it would help, to tell everyone, in essence, "yes, we ARE home, but we are totally ignoring you." I never thought it would work.

But it DID work to an extent I never could have imagined.

I researched "no solicitors" signs and discovered that it's a poorly-kept secret that the houses with "no solicitors" signs are the BEST houses to sell stuff at. People often put those signs up because they HAVE TROUBLE SAYING NO. Savvy salespeople hit those houses harder than others on any street, often coming back two or three times. Not a good choice, people. Throw out your cute "No Solicitors" sign immediately. Also religion does not fall under "soliciting" in the law, so Jesus-peddlers are told to never heed such signs (which aren't legally enforcable when posted at a private residence, anyway. They can only be enforced when posted at a business).

I still get solicitors approaching my house all the time but--miracle of miracles--they see the sign and WALK AWAY. Couldn't believe it when it started happening. Often they leave a business card or flyer on the porch, but most of 'em don't even knock anymore.

When unexpected workmen show up, they read the sign, go back to their trucks and call my land-lady, who then calls me to tell me that she made an appointment on my behalf (she's gotten MUCH better about it, since the workers kept bothering her while standing on my porch waiting to be announced, lol).

Anyway here's the sign I made (printed on paper, glued to a wood plaque, sanded down and sealed against the weather). I super-glued magnets to the back and slammed that baby front-and-center on my front door. LOVE it.

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