I know Jeff is not your real name, but I’m going to call you Jeff so this note can be our little secret, ok? Nobody else needs to know that it’s you I’m talking to.
At kindergarten recently, you told my daughter, Cooper, that she shouldn’t like Spider-Man because it’s only for boys. I want to ask you why you think Spider-Man is not for girls.
I know the Spider-Man toys are in the same aisle with the cars, muscle-men, trains and other superheroes at Wal-Mart. But there’s no sign on that aisle stating “NO GIRLS ALLOWED.” In fact, most of the toys in our home (for my two daughters) come from that aisle; we adore dinosaurs and superheroes ‘round here. You should come and see our Robo-Raptor--he’s pretty awesome!
And I know the aisle with all the pink toys is a little intimidating to boys, but I want you to know that you are welcome there--just as girls are welcome to chose toys from the superhero aisle. I hope your mother or father has told you that you can play with dolls if you want, or cook elaborate dinners in a play-kitchen. I invite you over any time to have an Easy-Bake playdate (cookies aren't too girly for you, right?).
Or you can come and play dress-up. We have a HUGE dress-up collection and you can be ANYTHING you want--that’s why it’s so fun to pretend, right? Isn't that the whole point of a costume? You can be a pirate or Batman or a princess or a gorilla and I promise no one will judge you under my roof. Intolerance is not tolerated in my home. If you choose our Darth Vader costume, I promise no one will assume that you’ll grow up with magical powers and that you’ll use 'em for evil instead of good. And if you want to be a princess no one’s going to assume you’re going to be gay. At least not in my house, because things like that don’t matter here. I hope they don’t matter at your house either.
I wish all the toys were mixed up in the toy aisle. I wish the costume packages didn’t say “BOYS” or “GIRLS” on them and I wish I could tell you that I bought Cooper’s cherished Spider-Man hoodie in the girls’ section, but sadly, our society hasn’t evolved that far. Not yet.
Do you think Cooper should like dance classes and princess movies? She’s taken dance lessons (and enjoyed them, but she likes soccer better) and we have EVERY princess movie ever made. We also have dolls of every shape and size, we have purple ponies and sparkly nail polish. Do you have any of those things? My girls have lots of all kinds of toys, but Cooper prefers the same kinds of toys that you like. Princesses don’t do much, anyway, do they? Do YOU want to play with princesses? All they do is sing and wait for a man to show up. That’s not much fun, is it?
But Spider-Man?! Way cooler than any princess, right?! He saves people! He fights the bad guys! He swings from these HUGE skyscrapers! It’s exciting! He’s a kind person who’s really--really--proactive in doing good. Princesses, mostly, want to be pretty and get married to a guy who can carry a tune.
If you chose to like princesses, Jeff, then I will absolutely support you, but I hope that you see why little girls like my daughter think Spider-Man is more exciting, more fun and more worth her time and aspirations than most of the toys down the pink aisle.
So next time you think Cooper shouldn’t like something because of her gender, ask yourself what you would like if YOU were a girl. Girl toys are seriously lacking in adventure and inspiration. Do you know those words yet? That just means that they’re not fun or exciting--they don’t DO anything.
Maybe when you grow up, you can find a way to make fun, exciting toys for girls--movies with girls as the heroes--saving people and having crazy adventures (while FULLY clothed and shirking love, mind you). There aren’t many female heroes for my daughters. So you can share Spider-Man with Cooper, right? Doesn’t she deserve to have superheroes, too?
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